Coffin Bone

Know Your Words

The coffin bone, also known as the pedal bone, is the bottommost bone in the front and rear legs of horses. It is encased by the hoof capsule.

Hey Joe You Wanna Give it a Go was Trent’s newest Polo Pony. He was a premier gelding bred and trained in Argentina. Trent named him after seeing video footage of his training-the song was playing on Trent’s playlist-the tempo and eager zeal of the young Pony somehow matched the lyrics…and that was that.

On this day Trent asked Darlene if she had time to trailer Hey Joe over to the Stone Stables for a full-service shoeing by LouEtta Stone. Darlene was happy to oblige. LouEtta was a premiere farrier who kept steady bookings-it was hard to get an appointment with her for a new equine client.

Upon arriving, Darlene saw her supervisor Clem, talking to LouEtta in the small paddock by the barn. She unloaded Hey Joe and affectionately led him over to them, whispering in his ear: “Okay Joe this is your golden ticket day-full service hoovicure like no other…” LouEtta was downing a sports drink like Popeye downs spinach. She appeared refreshed and ready for her next client. Clem greeted Darlene saying, “Hey Darlene, thanks for the quick transport-I know Trent was in a pinch-just talked to him on the phone. He said he is going to stop by…” “Well, ” LouEtta interrupted, “this must be Joe…Hello Joe…you wanna give it a go…” she laughed and thanked Darlene for the last-minute transport. “Trent” LouEtta continued, “sure has a way with words and naming his ponies!” Clem nodded in agreement as Darlene responded, “Yeah, I predict that Hey Joe is going to bring everyone to their feet to dance and sing! He’s a real prize of a pony. It was no problem quickly loading him up and getting him to you, LouEtta. I whispered in his ear and told him this will be a hooficure like no other! His hooves are in good hands!” Although Clem was staring at his phone he did catch hooficure, and thought Darlene sure never lets up with the word play…. LouEtta nodded and smiled-she was used to these types of compliments-her work and product line had a respected reputation. She took Hey Joe’s lead and said, “Alright fella-let’s get to it and make sure those coffin bones have the ultimate protection. I will fix you right up sir. I think we will trim, shoe, and polish with some vitamin nourishing product. Blue Ribbon line for this boy.”

When Darlene heard coffin bone, she quickly extended a comment that sounded like a question. “I guess you mean the pedal bone…protecting his pedal bones…” Clem looked up from his doom scroll and thought, uh-oh…

LouEtta looked at Darlene and confidently said, “No-I mean the coffin bone-some people call it the pedal bone-but I have always appreciated the name coffin bone-reminds me that the hooves serve to protect what is inside -much like a coffin protects what’s inside.”

Darlene quipped, “True, but coffin bone is kind of an oxymoron-the coffin protects something dead-in this case the hoof is protecting something that is alive and assures life actually….”

LouEtta took a breath and countered, “This has nothing to do with oxen… Darlene…”

Darlene quickly clarified, “No no I am saying the use of the term coffin bone is like an oxymoron because….well because of those reasons I just said...”

LouEtta was starting to look red in the face, like her shoeing tongs… “You calling me a moron Darlene?”

Trent, who was excited to meet with LouEtta appeared on the scene right as this conversation was coming to a boil. Fortunately, Clem was able to communicate to him, through a subtle eyebrow raise, that there was trouble in River City… He quickly offered a suggestion: “Hold on ladies, let's not hitch your wagon to a storm…”

Trent laughed to himself…one had to love the way the language flowed from Clem-a river of wisdom mixed with cowboy charm.

Trent gave a soft laugh and started out with “Well hello everyone-LouEtta I wanted to thank you for fitting in my prized pony.”

LouEtta was giving Darlene mean looks. Darlene was trying to think of something neutral to say like an ice breaker…so she said “Hey Joe You Wanna Give it a Go is giving it a go…or rather LouEtta is you know well she’s doing her renowned work… we were just discussing the pedal bone versus the coffin bone, and I was saying that…”

LouEtta, who was holding a hot tong , interrupted Darlene, “ Hey Joe You Wanna Give it a Go is top tier Trent-he’s a beauty and I am going to give him my Blue Ribbon Stone Cold Coffin Cream line of hoof ointment-assuring that we are doing all we can to protect his coffin bones….which are the same bones Darlene is calling pedal bones-just makes a lot of sense that they were named coffin bones because of the hoof protection… Darlene is calling me a moron because I prefer the term coffin over pedal.”

Trent could feel the steam coming from LouEtta’s area…he did think pedal bone was a more positive term-likely why Darlene preferred this; Louetta, however, had a point….

Clem to the rescue once again, stepped in… “I got a thought…you ladies oughta switch terms for the month-this’ll widen your vocabulary…Darlene you use coffin bone and LouEtta you use pedal bone….…you wanna give it a go?”

Clem felt he could now enter politics with an avalanche of support….

Trent held his breath and offered: “Let’s just make sure we all understand we bring a wealth of knowledge to the stables today. Coffin bone Pedal Bone…bottom line is Hey Joe is ready to give it a go…”